Katie Pressly takes on the absurdity of navigating the WordPress.org login form and having to check the dreaded “I am not affiliate with WP Engine in any way, financially or otherwise” box, inspired by the real-life frustrations of the WordPress community.

♬ WP Engine Affiliate Blues (Can’t Prove I’m Innocent) ♬
Katie Pressly, The Pressmates

I got the WP Engine Affiliate Blues
Can’t Prove I’m Innocent Man
I got the WP Engine Affiliate Blues
This is gettin out of hand

My hands getting tired
from checking all these boxes man

Verse 1:
Logged in to build, ready to go,
Then that checkbox hit me low.
“I’m not with WP, I swear it’s true,”
But now they’re askin’, “What did you do?”

Pre-Chorus:
“Ever shared a meme or said their name?
Whispered ‘Engine’ in a game?”
I’m just here to click and submit,
But this form don’t give a shit

Chorus 1:
Got the WP Engine Affiliate Blues, stuck in a bind,
“Did you name your dog ‘Engine’? What’s on your mind?”
I’m clean, just let me through,
But this form don’t believe it’s true.

Verse 2:
Think I’m reppin’ them at the fair?
Or hidin’ ads in my hair?
I’m here for WordPress, honest and clear,
But this form keeps pushin’ fear.

Chorus 2:
Got the WP Engine Affiliate Blues, won’t let me go,
“Baked a cake with their logo? Let us know!”
I’m tired, just let me be,
But this form’s got no faith in me.

Outro:
WP Engine Affiliate Blues,
It could happen to you,
The WP Engine Affiliate Blues.